Fifty Shades of Dull

The erotic story “Fifty Shades of Grey” is all over the news suddenly. It’s being labeled as ‘mommy porn’ and something like mainstream BDSM. Somehow ‘mainstream BDSM’ sounds like an oxymoron, BUT there is the promise of bondage and spanking. I must admit  I also can’t stand to be ‘out of the loop’ culturally, so of course I’ve downloaded the book. I’m now in the loop for better or worse. (Mostly worse, but I can’t put the damn thing down.) Consider this a Public Service Announcement:

I’ve quickly made it to page 50 out of over 300, and STILL. NO. SEX. No spanking, no kneeling, no service.

What I’ve read so far is like a cross between the wretched reading that is Twilight (considering that this story started out as Twilight “fan fiction” that makes sense) and a Harlequin Romance. Here is one of my favorite least-favorite lines:“Ana, there’s something about him.” Her tone is full of warning. “He’s gorgeous, I agree, but I think he’s dangerous. Especially to someone like you.”

Blahblahblahblah! Get to the SPANKING ALREADYYYYYYYYYYY!!

Gak. It’s sappy, and it’s not well written. I’m just here for the smut, OBVIOUSLY.

Update: I have finally arrived at the spanking and sex scenes. I’m unimpressed, although I can see how this has sparked the imagination of women everywhere. The reality is that it’s sort of “BDSM lite” but it does remind me that I’m really ready to get back to some raunchy sex with Whitman.

 

 

For what it’s worth, there is a MUCH better book called Carrie’s Story with essentially the same concept – college student owned by handsome zillionaire, but it’s well-written and extremely sexy. Spend your money there.